Idealization
You probably are familiar with this concept already in your own personal life. Idealization occurs when a person places another individual on a pedestal in layman terms– placing them in a position higher than themselves to look up to. In psychoanalysis, this is seen as a normal developmental process born out of the need of the child to uplift their caregivers to a higher position in order to preserve their attachment to them. Our first caregivers are experienced in childhood as omnipotent or god-like in their power and control over us and the immediate world around us. And idealization is born out of this recognition, and seeks to place the Other above the Self.
Idealization is normal in the sense that it helps to form a quick bond and attachment to the Other, seeing them as all good, all powerful, or amazing and inspiring. Though, as anyone who has been placed on a pedestal knows, the fall hurts tremendously. The idealization phase is a normal part of development, but it is also based in fantasy and a desire that is unrealistic. You have also experienced this through other phenomena such as limrance, or the puppy love phase in a relationship. It is harmless at first, and only becomes an issue if the expectations or desires or beliefs are hyper unrealistic or placed on an individual that is more likely to cause harm.
Idealization is a complex phenomenon that impacts our relationships, and how we perceive others. It doesn’t last forever, and is not necessarily destructive. It’s an important aspect of human nature and relationships to understand, if you wish to learn more about how you move through the world and exist within different relationships. If you wish to do this kind of depth work, I encourage you to seek out a psychotherapist who is depth-oriented in their approach to psychology and psychotherapy– such as in the school of psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy. For more information on psychoanalytic topics and concepts, check out my other blog posts in this series.