Deep Listening/Affective Attunement

One of the core competencies of Relational psychodynamic therapy, is deep listening and attuning to affect.  Deep listening is more than just active listening to what is being said by the other– it is listening for what lies beneath the surface, and what has yet to be named.  This means listening for subtext, themes, and emotions that the other may not even realize they are feeling or carrying.  This is a hard skill to hone and master, and takes more than years of practice.  Listening with the third ear requires high-0degree of concentration and awareness– as well as a keen sense and emotional intelligence.  

The third ear also goes beyond deep listening, as it is crucial in listening to one’s own affect.  As a therapist, part of my job is to check in with myself and notice what is coming up for me, and seeing how that might have something to do with what  my patients are bringing to me in any given session.  Once I have an idea of what I am feeling, I can then attune to the affect or emotional expression and communication of my patient.  Attuneing to our patient's effects, helps us to grow closer in understanding what is going on, and to help regulate disavowed or unwanted emotions.  

To learn more about how this process works, and its importance in therapy— please read Core Competencies of Relational Psychoanalysis.  

If you wish to read more about this idea, please check out The Core Competencies of Relational Psychoanalysis by Roy Barsness.